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T-Bone with a side of Chaos

Posted on 2008.07.06 at 03:09
I'm a bit shaken up right now, just a few hours after a car wreck, but the fact that I'm blogging about it, should assure you that I came through relatively unscathed.

I was on my way  to a late night movie, and stopped at  a perilous intersection, where two major streets intersect a third at a sharp angle.  Worse still, the busy streets converge on the summit of a hill.  The light turned green, I hit the accelerator, and was halfway through the intersection when a car ran a red light at high speed and smashed into my own.  I barely saw the headlights rush toward me out of the corner of my eye before the impact jarred my bones.  I tried to swerve out of the way, as it bulldozed toward my door, and the driver T-boned me, slamming my car into traffic on my right.  Horns blared as the other cars careened out of the way,  and I barely missed being struck several more times.  The crunch of steel was jarring, it happened so fast, and the impact threw me against the seat divider.  I seriously bruised my hip, but somehow never lost my grip on the steering wheel.  The back door on the driver's side was crushed like a beer can, and my own door folded in at the back so I couldn't force it open.   Fortunately, my dear passenger wasn't  injured,  and all I could think was "Thank God nobody sat in the back seat."  By the time I got out of the car, and saw the twisted metal, a good Samaritan in a Mecedes pulled over to see if we needed assistance.  Somehow, the car that struck us wasn't destroyed by the impact.  The driver that hit us had pulled over several blocks away, and when he saw me climb out of the car, he squealed away.  I never got a chance to look at his plates for the police report.

Things have been rough recently, and this just left me numb.  I'm struggling to finish my novel, Blood Bound, while dealing with depression, brought on by a beloved friend being sent to the Persian Gulf, and struggling to care for an elderly cat with rapidly declining health.   I rescued Brown Jenkins years ago after he was hit by a car, nursed him to health and have had many wonderful years with him as a companion.  He sleeps each night on my pillow, curled around my head, but each morning when I wake he seems more of a ghost.   He'll only eat when I kneel at his side, sometimes feeding him out of my hand.  Once in a while, just petting him brings on wrenching sobs.  As for my friend who was sent to the gulf, I wear one of his dog tags, and most of the time it works like a talisman to banish my nightmares, the ones I have of him being shot or trapped in a crashing helicopter.  I've prayed more in the past two months than in the past several years, which just goes to show there are few rationalists in the trenches.  One of my goals this year was to quit smoking before my birthday a few weeks ago.  Let's just say I haven't been successful with that one.   I'm burning through more than a pack of Djarum Black cloves a day, which leaves me smelling like incense, or Mom's Easter ham.   I've got to quit and respect the life that's in me.  Trying to be in that writing place has proved an incredible challenge, but I feel like every sentence I write is spit in the eye of fate.

But one thing is abundantly clear as I sit writing this blog--life is painfully fragile.  The car wreck proved the merit of my perhaps cliche life-mantra: live each day like it's your last, because it just might be that.  Tell those you love that you love them, and remember that when you part it might be your last time together.  Live not in fear, and die without regret for the things you never shared, and remember that nothing is more precious than love.   Despite the fact that I write and adore science fiction/horror, I'm still a hopeless romantic...


allaboutm_e at 2008-07-06 17:22 (UTC) (Link)
Glad that you are able to write this update, and hope that you get through the next couple of days of soreness mostly unscathed.
rjcrowtherjr at 2008-07-07 08:48 (UTC) (Link)

Thank you.

M.E., Thank you so much for your care and concern. Feeling better today, and thankful to be around without any major injuries. It means so much to have friends like you who care, and don't bash me for having a pity party. Hope things are well with you, and that I'll see you at Comicon.

XO, Rob
coppervale at 2008-07-06 17:30 (UTC) (Link)
Hey, Brother Rob - so sorry to hear about the accident, but very relieved you're okay!

As to the other struggles... hang in there, man. You have a lot going for you, and a lot of friends who support you.
rjcrowtherjr at 2008-07-07 09:02 (UTC) (Link)

Thanks, James

I really appreciate your care and concern, my brother. Physically doing much better, and working on doing a better job of not worrying about the things over which I have no control. Who would have thought that a friendship would be born out of simple admiration for your talent. I do need to focus on all the gifts life has given me, and know I'm fortunate to be here. Even more I'm grateful to have people in my life, who care for and support me without judgment. I hope I can honor you by offering the same. I always look forward to reading your blogs--they inspire me to strive to be my best. Hope I'll see you again in the not to distant future.

Edited at 2008-07-07 09:15 am (UTC)
Tom (Tomvla)
tomvla619 at 2008-07-06 21:32 (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad that you're ok, Rob. Take it easy for a few days. If you need anything, let me know.
rjcrowtherjr at 2008-07-07 09:05 (UTC) (Link)

Thank you, Tom!

Your words here and your email meant so much to me. Wrote back to you through the same, but just wanted to post here how much I appreciate your friendship. Peace and a big hug to you--Rob
wicked witch of the west
herkind31 at 2008-07-07 21:58 (UTC) (Link)
oh sweetie, i'm so very thankful you are ok. life would literally suck if i couldn't see your pale vampire face again! i love you. and i hope that bastard who left the scene gets his.

and i'm having a shindig at my place this saturday:

this saturday is Ray at Night (if you don't know what that is, here's the site http://www. rayatnight. com/) and i'm inviting all of you to come over to my cottage for appetizers and drinks/cocktails at 6pm. then we will walk over to Ray at Night. and later if we're up for it we will walk over to one of the many bars in my neighborhood.

my addy: 3973 Kansas St. 92104

you should def. come, you'll have plenty of time to go to sabbatt later.
rjcrowtherjr at 2008-07-09 08:00 (UTC) (Link)
Hello, lovely lady,
Thank you for your love and for the invitation. I wish I could come to your shindig and Ray at Night. It would be so much fun to join you, but it's my father's birthday celebration that night, and I promised my parents I would attend.

To be honest, I can barely contemplate going to that--don't get me wrong, I really love my Dad--but right now celebrating anything seems so inappropriate. My beautiful cat, Brown Jenkins, passed away today, and my heart it torn in two. He had a long, wonderful life, was always so happy and loving, and I miss him so much.
(Anonymous) at 2008-08-16 16:20 (UTC) (Link)


Your blog is interesting!

Keep up the good work!
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